Oh, Oh, Oh, Listen To The Music...

Email from sweetboy89@home: Hey Mom, I Googled that song you wanted. The reason you couldn't find it was because it is called "Tush" not "Looking for some touch". Also, Hootie and the Blowfish aren't really a new band, since they haven't had a hit since the nineties.

So, it probably started all the way back when I was five and singing "Joy To The World". Not the Christmas carol, the hippie anthem. Joy to the world/olive was a girl. Yep, that's what I sang. Cute for a five year old. Weird when you're twenty-five and your husband looks at you with that cocked puppy dog head look and says, Excuse me? Did you just sing "Olive was a girl?" Well yes, those are the words. Um, no. Um yes. Umm, really, no.

Turns out the actual wording is All The Boys and Girls. As soon as he said it, I could hear it plain as day but for twenty years I had been singing the words wrong. (Although in my defense, it IS a song about a wine-mooching frog, how right can any words be?).

This was not, unfortunately, an isolated incident. I have been misunderstanding the words to songs my whole life. There was Barry Manilow's Looks Like Tamata's, the Stones' Two Fuck Hero, and of course, that England Dan and John Ford Coley classic, I'm Not Talkin' 'bout the Linen.

And let's not forget the aforementioned "Tush". I truly thought the words were "Lord, take me downtown, I'm just lookin' for some touch." I loved that song. So raw and honest. The story of a man who just wants someone to reach out to him. Just to feel that touch. Yeah, no he's just lookin' for some TUSH. Little bit of difference.

But, the centerpiece of my idiocy artwork has to be Me and Bobby McGee. I used one line from that song as my motto for years. "One day of miscellaneous, I let him slip away." Wow, how perfectly does that describe the tragedy and triumph that is life. One miscellaneous day, a nothing day if you will, one simple choice makes it a day you will always remember. The day you let love slip away. Beautiful. Powerful. And wrong. Kris Kristofferson, that genius of a songwriter (and a right-proper hottie in his day) actually wrote the line "One day up near Salinas" Well, crap. Now I need to find another theme song. What's that new one by Hootie and the Blowfish?